Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Lullaby of Birdland II

I believe for every drop
of rain that falls
A flower knows—

At which point Blackbird saw the Above-Average Aves (AAA) mouths gape when a Great Spotted Kiwi let rip unintended rudeness at this year end’s bird bash. Shrilling: Holely fevver—there’s a fly in this pie!!

Blackbird listened. Fly.? pie.? How strange. Better take a closer look..

Bird Talk: [ Mix AAA and BAA(Below-Average Aves) ]

    Dead or alive..? Dunno.. Assit got wings? Course it’s got wings, yer gormless—flies got wings—Shuddup! Listen ta GSK willyer.. says there’s only one wing. Which one. ? de right one. Yeah riight.. gottabe right then, eh. Hang on, he’s coming to.. Now then what’s the story fly? Who are ya and where ya frum??

[ BG: With keen eyes compensating for BB's lack of beak patently clear was a quivering frightfull sight before them. No way was the fly about to answer such sharp-looking curiosity. Not one to normally do so, BB pushed himself to the front where he might peer directly into the fly's eye. ]

BB: — Talk to me. Only me, fly. I’ll call you OneWing, that all right. Good. In the circumstances in which you find yourself, appropriate, too. Well now, OneWing, would you kindly explain fly in a pie. How clever, or otherwise, is that? Were you in for a feed or seeking food status? Take your time… in your own words s’il vous plait..

In the course of this OW‘s quivering ceased and it tried to step from a pie gravy pool into which it had fallen. BB’s words were calming but the french bit really impressed. Here was a class act.. OW thought.. a culture king.. a.. a someone to talk to.. mebbe he could do better than talking himself out of a paper bag… mebbe..

OW: [ sotto voce ] — I was at the mall wiv me mates, sir. Yeah, working the tables like. One minute I’m round the plates.. on the tables.. the next I’m on the wall.. the mall wall. Great place to be.. sunning yoursell fru skylights. And that’s when I-spied it.. this pie. Well, usually I’d tippem orf, see. But er… somehow I couldn’t.. there was hundreds of em. Big prob wiv flies.. too many of us!

BB: Hot pie.. cold pie? And how couldn’t they see it before you?

OW: Cooling, sir, cooling-to-cold axshally. From where I was on the wall, see. Then there was a napkin over it. Someone had taken orf in hurry, you know what people are.

BB: So you flew down and crawled in through a hole, did you?

OW: Correct, sir. Mind you, just one thing, sir. Flies don’t crawl nowhere. I stepped into this pie fru the big hole. Front door if you er care to er.. see it my way. Nuffink wrong wiv dat. I mean, sir, you and me, weez honorable anima. Sure, our tribe says it’s better risk management to be a mall fly than outside wiv aves after us all the time, but we all do a good job in there. Clearing up is about efficiency innit. And face it, how often would any one of us get a go at the whole pie?

BB: Take your point. So.. let me see… mind if I bring in our Great Spotted on this.. Good. Well, what do you reckon GSK? Your pie, too. Are we looking at error of judgement..? And/or honorable action for which DISINTERESTED PARTY DETERMINATIONS are necessary? Thus said, by which assumed right ought we compris this, accept the I and myty or the more common— Yes?

GSK: WYSIWYG for me. Diss pie fell offa truck. Diss fly lost a wing in a dark lark. Deserved! Innit for the meat, got the gravy. Intended leaving nothing for anyone but a crust. Hard crust at that.

Bottom Line: From mall to bird bash. What else overheard.? One thing for sure the ‘hidden paw’ is not a bird…

Watch this space.